I made a wrong assumption. I had assumed that because she was counseling at an evangelistic meeting, she was a fulfilled and happy Christian woman. I was wrong.

I have two sons, she told me. Both of them are in prison. I didnt think I could be a counselor since my own children turned out so poorly. But God has led me to counsel other mothers who are in as much pain as I.

And, she added, many of those mothers who are struggling with what they consider failure are coming to faith in Christ.

A few weeks after that conversation, I was preaching in a church at the opposite end of the country. In the middle of the sermon I felt led to tell the story of that counseling mom. Later, as I greeted people at the door, a couple, who I noticed had been holding back, came over to me. We want to thank you for telling us about that mother whose two sons are in prison, the husband said. We were short-term missionaries in Asia when we received the news that our son had killed his wife and two children. We didnt think we could ever go back to serving God on the mission field. But now, we think we can.

Silent in our churches
All around us are men and women who are hesitant about being on mission Christians, because they feel they have failed as parents and grandparents. When others tell of the faithfulness of their children and grandchildren, they remain silent, hoping no one will ask about their family.

In our churches are a lot of silent people, longing to serve God, yet afraid that they will be seen as frauds or hypocrites, wondering if people will think: How can you speak to others about the Savior when you couldnt even manage your own household? Its a challenge thats hard to answer.

Around us are faithful Christians who are crying inside. Here is a pastor whose daughter recently moved in with her boyfriend. He must counsel other parents, care for his flock, preach biblical messages, while all the time wondering where he went wrong with his own. There is the mother who tries to have a witness to neighborhood women, while aware that her son might break into their homes and steal from them to support his drug habit.

These are Christians who prayed for their children and grandchildren, dedicated them to Christ and taught them biblical truths. They seek help from others, examine their own lives, cry out to God.

What happened? They dont know. They have asked God that same question. But as Christians who want to be on mission, they trust God and keep going, even while suffering so deeply.

They cant boast of great parenting and grandparenting success. Yet often these are the very ones God uses most effectively. Other people, who are in similar pain, when meeting such an on mission Christian realize that here is someone who understands, who knows what I feel.

Children and grandchildren hurting themselves
Society presses in on young people, stealing from them the truth they once heard. Choked by the weeds that Jesus described, the wheat is soon taken over. Its so easy for our children and grandchildren to surrender to the call of the corrupt, the sordid and reject the way of life and peace and wholeness. Old Testament men and women experienced it too, seeing their offsprings unfaithfulness to the second and third generation. Perhaps thats why Solomon was led to explain in teaching about wisdom, For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord. But whoever fails to find me harms himself (Proverbs 8:35-36). Many children and grandchildren are near to us who have rejected the favor of God and are hurting themselves. 

One day on a Christian radio program, a pastor was talking about his children. All were in Christian service, all were growing in the Lord. The interviewer asked how this pastor explained such success. His reply was honest. I dont know, he said. I have friends who were better parents than I, more faithful in every way, but their children are a disappointment. Its a mystery to me.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JON KRAUSE

There is only one perfect parent
Ask parents or grandparents if they were good at their roles and most will admit, I failed many times. I wish I could relive those years when my children or grandchildren were younger. Then the cry, I wasnt a perfect parent. The reply, of course, is that there is only one Perfect Parent. All the rest of us are flawed vessels. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

Yet by the grace of God we are redeemed and called; we are sent out with the same commission thats given to all believers. We cannot let Satan compound the tragedy of unfaithful prodigals by hiding in a corner and refusing to be the on mission Christians we were redeemed to be. Surely, in the story Jesus told of the Prodigal Son, the father was not meant to be seen as a failure.

Will God someday redeem and restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25)? Will our children or grandchildren return to the faith they once heard about, maybe even had acknowledged in baptism?

We may be the answer to another hurting persons prayer
Even in their pain, on mission believers go on step- by-step, reaching out to others with the good news of the Savior. It isnt simply that we can be on mission Christians in spite of our hurts; its that we must.

Today or tomorrow we may be Gods special instruments, the answer to the prayer of some other parent or grandparent who for years has been pleading with God to bring an on mission Christian across the path of their rebellious loved one. We must do it; we must continue seeking out nonbelievers and sharing Christ with them.

And maybe, as we are faithful in our calling to serve others, God will be calling some other on mission Christian to help our children and grandchildren. Even now, God may be bringing an obedient on mission Christian across the path of our rebellious loved one to be the person who will help steer our him or her to the life-giving Lord. While there is life, there is still hope.

God sent an on mission Christian
In a large city in the southern part of the United States, a man who had been a rebel and a prodigal all his life watched as new neighbors moved in next door. He didnt know it, but his new neighbor was a Christian who had an intentional and deliberate lifestyle of personal evangelism. That on mission Christian moving in had no way to know that for more than 50 years people had been praying for the man next door. He only knew that God expected him to be faithful in sharing his faith wherever he went.

They lived side-by-side for several years. In time, after many conversations, that on mission Christian led his long-time prodigal neighbor to faith in Christ. Today, that once-rebellious man is a committed believer faithfully serving the Savior.

All around us are men and women for whom others are praying. They are asking God, Please send an on mission Christian to my prodigal. In spite of whatever else is happening in our lives, regardless of whatever pain we may be suffering as parents or grandparents, we are the commissioned ones. We are the called. We wont let Satan convince us that we cannot be used by God. We will entrust our prodigals to God and go forward serving the Savior.

Roger Palms is the former editor of Decision magazine with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and the author of 15 books.