As a young man in his teens and 20s, Josh was a 6-foot-tall, hot-headed, blond-haired maverick. His friends and family kept their distance from this Tasmanian devil, as even the slightest offense would set Josh ablaze with rage. But all of that changed when he turned 30. Josh discovered Buddha.

When Josh was a boy, he adopted the Christian beliefs of his family. He tells the story of his Christian rootsand then how everything changed when he announced he was in love with someone other than his wife. After that, what Josh remembers most is a steady stream of preaching from his mother and a comment from his sister that he would burn in hell. Tired of the strife, in 1999 he cut off most contact with his well-meaning family and found acceptance in a support group for students of Buddha.

In his new Buddhist faith, Josh says he no longer feels at odds with God, his rage is gone, and he no longer feels that his creator is distant from himquite unlike how he felt before. Christianity taught me that God was closer when I behaved a certain way and farther away when I didnt.

I never felt I was good enough to be close to God. If Josh were your friend, what would you do?

Different men, same roots
The story of Joshs life may seem extreme, but most of us know men in very much the same boat. They may not be considering Buddhism or promiscuity as lifestyles, but they are on a path of deception, distraction or ambivalence.

And, for many, they feel quite happy on that path. Even though some women struggle with these same problems, the numbers comparing men and women show a marked difference: According to a Barna survey of American adults, while 75 percent of women say their faith is very important to them, only 60 percent of men say the same. And the bottom line: about 46 percent of women have accepted Christ for salvation, compared with 36 percent of men.

Its interesting, however, that just as many men as women say they are searching for meaning and purpose in life. The stats suggest that men are looking for that deeper life, but it will take a major mind-shift for them to seek solutions from a church, a group of Christians or even from Jesus Christ himself.

The numbers also add up to a safe conclusion: Reaching men for Christ isnt easy. Patrick Morley, author of Man in the Mirror, said it well: Reaching men is a lot like playing basketball. Getting the job done amid arm-waving opposition is what the game is all about. The natural resistance we encounter in reaching men is part of the game.

So, if you and your church are having a hard time reaching men, know this: Youre not alone. But giving up is not an option, and just one man turning to Christ can revolutionize an entire church or community.

Before looking at how to lead a man to Christ, its helpful to examine the plight of men in our culture today. What are their pressures, frustrations, secret thoughts?

Whats bugging men today
        Men are trapped in the rat race. The 12-hour workday shows no signs of slowing. Men are so wiped out by their work and family duties, they rarely have time to confront their spiritual needs. They are literally working themselves to spiritual and physical sickness and death.

• Men are bored. Boredom isnt necessarily cured by busyness. Men are bored by the endless list of things they are doingthings they never signed up for in life, things to keep a standard of living or to preserve an image. Many men are even bored with their churches. They are overcome by the mundane, with no energy to break free.

• Men are underchallenged to do the things they love. On the job, men feel economic pressure to stay where they are, even if their dream would carry them to something entirely new. This can be especially true in some Christian settings where men are encouraged to be conservative and always play it safe. Rather than being challenged to live on the edge, to reach for their dreams, they are asked to have patience, to wait until God speaks before they make any major moves.

• Men have lost touch with their masculine core. Men have been feminized, they have forgotten (or have never known) the unique abilities and perspectives they have as menand how desperately they are needed by women and children. Men need to feel free to act from their masculine nature.

• Men are falling for the notion that their best years are over. Our culture worships youth, and men are believing that the young are more valuable. They sideline themselves from the game at age 50right when energy and experience begin to synergize.

• Men are trying to be somebody other than themselves. Too few men have felt the surge of confidence they can have by being themselves, rather than trying to be a copy of somebody elseor trying to live the macho image depicted by todays billboards and commercials.

If the truth were known, nearly all menincluding men of strong Christian faithdeal with one or more (or all!) of these issues at some time. And heres how all this intersects with evangelism to men: Effective faith-sharing recognizes our common needs and struggles, so we can relate to men where they are.

When we want to reveal the truth of Christ to other men, it often starts with a no-agenda friendship where trust is built as men talk about their common needs and seek solutions together. Fortunately, a guy named Gary had somebody in his life who understood friendships, patience and trust. It ultimately saved his life. Lets look at his story.

Case Study: The rescue of Gary
From a distance, nobody wouldve expected problems in Garys life. He seemed to be a confident and successful businessman and husband. In public he and his wife of 11 years seemed like the perfect match. It took only three years in a Fortune 500 company for Gary to prove his business acumen, and he was quickly promoted into management.

Intoxicated by his work, the hours in the office extended later into the evenings, with more travel each month. On the business trips, Gary found himself relaxing more often with a drink, and an old habit of heavy drinking returned.

Being apart from his wife, and with his marriage clearly drifting, Gary still focused on his work. Then came the bomb: One day his wife announced she was no longer in love with him, and she asked for a divorce. She later told Gary about the other man. The pain was more than Gary could bear on his own. He continued his drinking and then turned to drugs.

One evening, driving home after work, Gary was pondering what went wrong in his marriage, and he decided he wanted to share the whole story with Emilio, a next-door neighbor and longtime jogging buddy.

Emilio had been praying for months for the right time to share his faith, but he had never felt the time was quite right with Gary. When Gary called, Emilio knew it was time. He suggested packing a lunch and hitting a running trail the next Saturday for some talking and exercise.

Emilio let Gary do most of the talking that day. But before the run was over, Emilio told a similar story about his own lifeand how God broke through at just the right time. Gary was full of questions about this relationship with God, the claims of Christ and the simplicity of salvation. Gary took a few days to think for himself, and within two weeks Emilio led him in a prayer to receive the gift of Christ.

It was too late to save Garys marriage, but his newfound relationship with God helped him escape the drugs and alcohol. He found a church home, and was gradually healing from the pain of his failed marriage as he rested in his salvation and focused on serving the needs of others. From his own experience, his own mistakes, Gary is now helping others toward healing in their relationships.

The power of a shared life
Gary and Emilio experienced the power of a shared life. It is this type of relationship that leads to success with men in evangelism. Respected mens leaders unanimously agree that building long-term relationships is the best way to lead a man to Christ.

When Jack Lewis, minister of education at Tulip Grove Baptist Church in Nashville, Tennessee, was asked why he thought his mens ministry was a success, he said, Weve tried to be a support group. We gather as men to pray for these guys. His church has a mens group of 60 to 70 active members, and they specialize in service evangelism, including disaster relief, monthly breakfasts, handymans ministry, inner-city missions, feeding programs and even running golf tournaments to benefit ministry for men.

This type of hands-on service builds the trust thats often necessary to reach men for Christ. As an example, Jack mentions a man who came to the church after getting a divorce and was fighting drugs and alcohol. The church heaped acceptance upon him, and eventually he received Christ. Now hes a teacher and leader in the Sunday school and mens ministry. In fact, he ended up leading his ex-wife and her new husband to Christ.

This is a service organization, says Lewis, and it works.

Lay leader Bill Rogers agrees. Even with men who are not yet believers, it seems they receive better if they also can be useful and give of themselves. What has worked best for us, says Bill, is when guys get out and work, things like construction missions where they take the skills they have and help someone else. Theres nothing like working 14-hour days and sleeping on the floor of a church somewhere.

Bill, who has been serving at Woodmont Baptist Church in Florence, Alabama, for 16 years, has watched his congregation double in size, now with 1,500 members. Guys think they can never do evangelism, he says, but they almost always stand corrected when they let it happen naturally in the context of serving others.

Some mens leaders have been surprised how some men, even unbelievers, are much more likely to show up for a work project than a church meeting. Romy Manansala, Missions Division Director for the Baptist Convention of New York, said this recently happened in his state when a church sent 75 volunteers to the Goodwill Games in Lake Placid. One man, an unbeliever, came to simply lend a hand, but after he worked side-by-side with the others, he ended up praying to receive Christ into his life.

Ten things men need
When it comes time to share your faith with a man, it pays to remember a few facts that are generally true about men and what they need. If you already have built the trusting relationship, this is the easier part.

1. Men need respect. If we tell them they are wrong without explaining ourselves, they will feel disrespected, says Sean Taylor, strategist for Adult Mission Education for the North American Mission Board (NAMB). We come in a position of equality, treating others as greater than ourselves.

2. Men need space. Dont expect a man to open up his life too fastand try not to pry. When sharing your faith, do not push men too hard to make a decision. You dont go to the next step in a relationship until you are let in.

3. Men need practical steps. Men are physical by nature; they like to bring things into the physical world. Thus, if a spiritual truth is spoken, the next questions from a man are: What then shall be done? What does it mean practically?

4. Men need to process things through their minds first. Men end up relating emotionally, but its not the first step. They will gravitate toward intellect and reason. Also, appeal to a mans sense of curiosity. Explore the questions and wonders and mysteries of life together. Dont pretend to be Mr. Know-it-all, but walk alongside him in his quest to discover God.

5. Men need to ask questions. Many men have been traumatized by an evangelistic encounter, says lay leader Bill Rogers. They want to know answers to questions like: What about hypocrites? What about pain? Is Jesus the only way? You gotta take all those questions seriously.

6. Men need to visualize. They respond more to seeing than hearing. It comes natural for most men to speak in word pictures or analogies. When a diagram is helpful to explain a concept, use it.

7. Men need to see how Christlike-ness is connected with excellence and success. Theres greatness at the core of every man, and Christ calls it forth. Show men that becoming a believer isnt just critical for making heaven; its also critical for earth. Men want to know that they can become better at every role they have: husband, father, businessman, athlete, neighbor, friend.

8. Men need to be heard. Its hard enough to get a guy talking, so if he is, try not to cut him off. Let him ramble if necessary. Listen to what he is saying. The longer he talks, the more he will drop his guard and speak freely.

9. Men need to be treated like men. In general, the church hasnt done much to affirm masculinity. Do you attend a feminized church? If you have a church of primarily women, ask yourself some hard questions. Is your church somehow scaring off men? In some churches, a male visitor might assume that getting a shot of estrogen would make him feel more at home.

10. Men need a vision. Guys need the energy that comes from pursuing something big. They need a sense of destiny and significance. Publisher Stephen Strang emphasized this in the March 2001 issue of New Man magazine: Men need a vision and a purpose for their lives. Some would even say that lack of vision and the prevalence of problems like sexual addiction may be connected. It could very well be that men feed their need for adventure with sexual diversions, filling the void created by lacking a healthy lifetime goal or vision.

Think about an unbelieving male friend you know. Whether hes deceived, distracted or just doesnt care about spiritual things, it might take more than a tract to draw him to Christ. We must win his trust, stick with him for the long haul and treat him like a man.

Brian Peterson of Altamonte Springs, Florida, is the Christian Media Director for World Vision, a relief and humanitarian organization serving 80 million people in 100 countries. He was also the founding editor of New Man magazine.