Youve seen a tween. Hes the one who spends hours researching on-line for a family vacation but is too cool to be seen with his family at Yellowstone. Shes the 10-year-old who dresses like she just celebrated her sixteenth birthday. He is a fearless and untouchable teen-wannabe but is afraid to enter the basement after dark. She intentionally tosses dirty clothes to miss the hamper but goes out of her way to help an elderly neighbor up icy stairs.

Tweens are 8- to 12-year-olds, or children poised on the edge of adolescence.

As a mom, I struggled during this transition, but I had a lot of company: Many parents of the between-age kids feel alone and unprepared to deal with the critical issues that emerge so early.

These are the years when peer pressure becomes a major force. Potential problems with drugs, alcohol, sex and eating disorders begin to appear. And the greatest fear for parents looms in the shadows: If I cant handle a 10-year-old, how will I cope when shes 15? The tween years offer incredible potential for growing on mission Christians. However, to successfully connect with tweens, we must understand their 21st century world.

Who are these tweens?
Todays tweens are the confident, high-tech, optimistic, street-smart and marketing savvy members of the Echo Boom, the largest group of children in American history. They are 8- to 12-year-olds on a fast track to growing up.

They are influenced by new media, virtual friends and the power that comes with technology. Todays tweens represent the first generation to practice adolescent independence on the Internet: Tweens do not need parents or teachers to help them gather information. This instant access to the world through the Web has bolstered a respect for knowledge. For the second year in a row, 83 percent of 8- to 12-year-olds say: Its cool to be smart.

In the year 2001, its OK to be a geek. This high level of competence with technology has partially fueled the designation of tweens as the new sweet spot in marketing. After all, kids now influence more than 70 percent of family food choices. Nearly two- thirds of parents say their children have influenced their vehicle purchasing decisions. As a result, car manufacturers are capitalizing on kidfluence and now target marketing messages to those aged 6 to14.

Money speaks in other ways too: Direct spending by tweens totals an incredible $14 billion annually.

Has basic development changed too?
Despite cultural changes, tweens still face developmental issues. Yet even these are being shaped by the 21st century.

Better nutrition is one of the major reasons puberty begins earlier than ever. As a result, 8- and 9-year-olds may experience the mood swings previously associated with teens.

Emotionally, tweens cope with new fears. As young children they had fantasy-based fears: They were afraid of thunderstorms or the dark. But the reality-based fears of tweens are shaped by their experiences. A 9-year-old who watched the morning headline news about a local rapist might worry all day about going home to an empty house.

During these years, peers assume more importance. This influence is common in areas of style, including haircuts and wardrobe choices. Self-concept is partially determined by the group to which the tween belongs.

Cognitively, tweens begin to practice new ways of thinking. Although parents may complain about their self-centered tunnel vision, 8- to 12-year-olds begin to develop almost-adult levels of thinking. They can visualize changing places with someone else and project possible behaviors.

For example, an 11-year-old will understand how his dad might react when basketballs are left in the driveway. Unfortunately, that does not mean a tween will put away the balls, for tweens grab every opportunity to flaunt their independence.

These newly independent thinkers seek answers in all areas of life. As one father of a 10-year-old told me, She is beginning to make faith decisions on her own. This is an important point of a parents daily prayers. Moral and ethical decisions may be peer-influenced. For example, an 11-year-old may spontaneously challenge a classmate to pocket a pack of gum from the store shelf without paying for it.

Historically, tweens have always reality-tested virtues like honesty and obedience. However, because tweens have grown up in the middle of a national moral meltdown, their understanding of right and wrong may not be clear-cut. Yet these situations only hint at the challenges and opportunities we face with ministry among todays tweens.

What are the implications for ministry?
Todays tweens are ready to be on mission. Fueled by optimism for the future, this generation of tweens believes it can impact the world. However, channeling this positive perspective into outreach efforts will require sensitivity to styles of communication.

The accelerated pace of cyber-speak has shortened the attention span of tweens and heightened their awareness of visuals. They are accustomed to multiple information sources, with messages bombarding them from all sides.

In addition, todays kids multi-task. Combining these characteristics means a tween can visually scan in seconds the church website for a list of prayer concerns, the youth calendar and Christian concerts. However, because tweens have an insatiable desire for the newest and most current of everything, the site will need frequent updating to catch a tweens interest.

Both Christian and non-Christian tweens live in cyberspace: More than 21.9 million tweens are predicted to be online by 2002. These numbers highlight the tremendous potential for reaching kids through electronic media.

But whatever appears on a site must reflect kid-speak. Todays tweens value authenticity: Realness is a core value of the current generation.

The most effective way to ensure that a churchs site matches the language tweens understand is to involve tweens in the site design and upkeep.

A congregation can launch an entire outreach effort by beginning with tweens.

For example, we know from developmental research that tweens begin to wonder about life, death, faith in Jesus Christ and spiritual issues during these pre-adolescent years. Tweens ask so many questions about theology, some parents feel their tween is a charter member of Club Doubt. Tween parents are especially challenged because, for the first time, their children are asking the same questions they asked. A daily question/answer on the church website may be targeted to tweens but will have cross-age appeal.

Involving tweens with computers is only one way to capitalize on their desire to serve. Todays tweens know that serving others feels good: Thats their motivation. Eight- to 12-year-olds are among the most under-utilized resources in congregations today.

Tween-style relationship evangelism might take the form of making tray favors for Meals on Wheels or stringing bead bracelets and hair ornaments to distribute on short-term mission trips. Whats important is that tweens have the opportunity to serve joyfully.

When a congregation capitalizes on its tremendous potential to create honest, emotional bonds with others, sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ becomes the tween interpretation of lifestyle evangelism. For many tweens, their mission field begins in the living room.

Although spirituality has emerged as an acceptable water cooler topic, many 8- to 12-year-olds are growing up without a Christian history. Equipping these young on mission Christians takes on a sense of personal urgency as they become increasingly aware of the importance of the gospel message.

Today, we are seeing a distinct attitudinal shift, and its starting with tweens. Many tweens embrace traditional beliefs and value the family unit. This means, for example, that a 9-year-old may genuinely want to squeeze some family time between soccer and gymnastics. Churches can find many ways to help family members connect with each other and provide resources for strengthening interpersonal ties. Converting trends into outreach opportunities implies that church leaders will respect the unique 21st century filters through which tweens and their families view ministry.

Time-starved parents will respond to ministry which fits their family but does not interrupt their lives. Tweens will connect with service that utilizes their very real skills and abilities. Congregations that serve as gateways to Christ in the 21st century will use knowledge about families to form a backdrop for multiple contact points. Today, tweens and their families are already imposing new yardsticks for measuring ministry.

We are poised on the brink of a crisis of opportunity: We face a generation of high-tech tweens who need to know our high-touch God. In what ways will you and I respond?

Dr. Mary Manz Simon is a popular conference speaker and best-selling author. She also hosts a daily, nationally syndicated program, Front Porch Parenting, which airs on 250 Christian radio stations. She was quoted in McCalls magazine as one of Americas top parenting pros.