Im really late. Ive missed three deadlines and am dangerously close to keeping this issue of On Mission from going to the printer. Why has it been so difficult for me to get started writing something as short and easy as Staff Notes? Ive put it off, let other things come before it, rationalized that I dont have time and used writers block as an excuse.

When the On Mission staff asked me to create the scrapbook art for the cover and main story in the September/October issue, I was thrilled. When they bestowed upon me the honor of writing Staff Notes for the issue, I was beside myself. When they told me that the theme of the issue was Reaching Your Family, I was horrified. And now, at the crisis hour, I see the reason for my delay. I dont feel like Ive done everything I could and should have done to reach my non-Christian family memberssome of whom are in my immediate family!

Why is it so hard to reach out to my family members? Is it because they have seen me at my very worstseveral specific un-Christian moments leap to the front of my mind as examplesand they wont think my walk with Christ is real? Sometimes I avoid talking to them about God and tell myself that all of the evangelistic opportunitiesChristmas and Easter musicals, kids programs, weddings, funeralsthat we attend together will be enough. Lots of times I tell myself that they would be offended and angry if I tried to talk about God, so I choose to keep peace in the family instead.

However, writing this column has led me to face the truth. The difficulty is mine, not theirs. I am the one who knows the truth but is afraid of offending them by sharing it. Im the one whos afraid, not them. Its easier to talk to a total stranger about God than my own family. But when I openly face the thought of one of my beloved family members facing the rest of their lives without a relationship with God and eternity outside of Gods presence, it doesnt seem hard anymoreit seems really important.

Im really late, but Im going to start talking to my non-Christian family members about God now. Maybe Ill start by sending them a copy of this issue of On Mission with the corner of this page turned down.

Susan McDaniel, editorial and design manager smcdaniel@namb.net