Daughters of Ishmael
By Jan Krieger
Books:Reaching Muslims for Christ by William Saal, Moody Press, 1991
Daughters of Islam; Building Bridges with Muslim Women by Miriam Adeney, InterVarsity Press, 2002
Lifting the Veil: The World of Muslim Women by Phil Parshall, Gabriel Publishing, 2003
Out of the Crescent Shadow: Leading Muslim Women into the Light of Christ by Ergun Mehmet Caner & Emir Fehti Caner, New Hope Publishing, 2003
Voices Beyond the Veil: The World of Islam Through the Eyes of Women by Ergun Mehmet Caner, Kriegel Publishing, 2004
The Cross and the Crescent, North American Mission Board, www.namb.net/catalog
Website:www.4truth.net Apologetics website with belief bulletins on most religions including Islam.
ministry: Muslim Ministry Department, Billy Graham Center, Wheaton College, Wheaton, IL 60187 Phone: 630.752.5157 Email: MMDBGCADM@wheaton.edu
Similarly, Alicia has noticed a few Muslim women who take their children to the school her daughter attends. She would like to invite the mothers to a "get acquainted" lunch but is unsure how to approach them.
Sharon has yet to have a personal conversation with Ishti, her new colleague on the consulting project, although they've been working together for weeks. Ishti is a Turkish Muslim; she seems friendly but Sharon is wary of unintentionally offending her so she keeps the conversation strictly work-related.
As Muslim families continue to arrive in the U.S. and Canada, the above scenarios become increasingly familiar. Allowing for statistical variances between U.S. and Islamic groups' estimates, there are between 800,000 and 3.5 million Muslim women in the U.S. Many Americans are curious but hesitant to connect with female co-workers and neighbors who follow Islam. Unfortunately, the mystery surrounding the Muslim woman and our lack of understanding of her cultural world have hindered our willingness to offer friendship.
How do we unmask the mystery of these women so we feel more assured and comfortable in connecting with them and understanding their world?
The keys to connecting with Muslim women begin with awareness of who the Muslim women are in your circle of influence and building trust among them, say Nashaat and Gihan Ibrahim, North American Mission Board (NAMB) missionaries to Muslims in Alexandria, Virginia.
We also must realize that many Muslim women have formed stereotypes of American women as evil and immoral, based on their own cultural propaganda and American TV programs. This distorted picture of the American woman can be overcome through a loving and concerned approach to building a bridge of friendship with ?the Muslim woman.
Here are some general guidelines in taking that initial step to reach out to a Muslim woman.
Offer friendship and helpMost Muslim women are very open to friendship with American women. Initiating a conversation with a new acquaintance is as simple as asking questions about her family, where she's from and how her transition to her new home is going.
Then each time you see that person, continue to follow up on the conversation.
After initial conversation and formalities have been exchanged several times, it's appropriate to offer your help in any areas that are a struggle for her, such as learning English, advice on schools, finding a physician or dentist or where to shop. Even arranging a playtime for your children to play together will show you're interested in her and her family. "If I can show a Muslim woman that I'm sincere, then she'll be more likely to open her heart and life to me," says Gihan.
Offer to visit In general, people from Middle Eastern Muslim countries such as Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Jordan are more people-oriented than Westerners. Their primary enjoyment is to spend time with people.
Their culture works a bit differently from Western culture. In the U.S., if you want to honor someone you would invite her to your home for dinner. In the Middle East Muslim culture, you visit them if you want to show them honor. Hospitality is a Muslim woman's first priority. "It's shameful for her not to offer hospitality," says Darla Oksnevad who with her husband, Roy, directs the Muslim Ministries at the Billy Graham Center in Wheaton, Illinois. The Muslim woman will expect you to make a long visit, at least an hour or two, and longer for a meal. If you leave too quickly, she'll be offended.
If a Muslim woman declines your offer to visit her, do not be offended or give up on the friendship. There may be situations in her home to prevent her from having non-Muslim visitors. Instead open your home to her by inviting her to lunch or tea.
Politely inquire whether there are certain foods she does not eat. Obviously, she will not eat pork, but there are other foodstuffs that are also not acceptable. For instance, Muslims will not eat gelatin because it's made from bone marrow and considered unclean. Chicken is a safe choice, and rice, potatoes or pasta make acceptable side dishes. Also, leave your pet outside as having a pet in the home is considered unclean.
You may need to extend the invitation to the husband, if she is married. Often, Muslim women cannot attend events alone. Also, many can't drive, because they aren't allowed to obtain licenses in most Middle Eastern countries.
If you're involved in a couple's group or women's ministry, consider having an international dessert night. Decorate the tables with items from various countries. Invite a Muslim acquaintance to bring a favorite dessert and talk about her country and customs.
Sarah Lee, who serves with her husband, Jason, as a NAMB missionary among Somalian Muslims in Louisville, Kentucky, says perseverance is sometimes the only solution to closed doors. "It's important not to become discourage," she says. "God often does great things through patience."
Celebrate togetherIt's extremely meaningful to a Muslim woman if you're with her in celebrations-things like cultural holidays, births and marriages. Unconditional friendship is a rarity because most of her relationships are arranged, ordained and controlled by others. "If you share some celebrations with her, it's easier to win her heart in friendship," says Darla.
Asking pointed, yet nonthreatening questions and participating in celebrations offer opportunities to connect and befriend a Muslim woman. Visiting a new mother and her newborn, offering condolences following a loved one's passing or congratulations and a gift for a family member's wedding are all ways to offer unconditional love. Roy Oksnevad cautions women to read about the Muslim culture in advance so they are knowledgeable about customs surrounding these celebrations. For instance, visiting a new mother and saying to her "What a beautiful baby!" can be an evil omen according to folk Islam.
Create spiritual connections Christian books about Muslims who've come to Christ such as I Dared to Call Him Father by Bilquis Lohse and The Torn Veil by Esther Gulshan, are excellent evangelistic and conversational tools.
The Oksnevads have found films like Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" to be powerful in building a spiritual connection. The film is in Aramaic which many Muslims understand. "Muslims who have seen The Passion are very moved," says Roy. "Since they don't believe Christ was crucified and died, they are captivated by the film's crucifixion scene."
Inviting a Muslim woman or couple to your home to view a Christian film, such as the Jesus video by Campus Crusade for Christ, or a section of it particularly around a holiday such as Christmas or Easter, can provide a venue to discuss your Christian beliefs.
Generally, Muslims are not knowledgeable about our holidays. Look for an opportunity to invite a Muslim woman and her family to your home for Thanksgiving or Easter dinner (you may have to adjust the menu slightly). Or, have a Christmas party and explain various customs that are part of the Christmas story. Reaching out to the Muslim woman can be intimidating. But the joys of building a relationship far outweigh any awkwardness we may feel in bridging the cultural gap to friendship. If you prove that you're someone who can love her unconditionally, the door to the Muslim woman's heart may be opened to you and to Christ.
1 Numerical estimates based on: Witham, L. (2002, September 19). Number of Muslims in U.S. below ?estimates. Washington Times. http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=3234.