Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those not having the law. . . . To the weak, I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).
Pastor Don is someone who gets things done. Because hes a take-charge kind of person, when he accepted the call to a new church, he planned a strategy of evangelism that complemented his personality. He compiled a list of the toughest, reputedly most hard-to-reach unbelievers in his community. His plan was simple: Crack the tough cases and the entire town would be on notice. His church would win its city for Christ.
It was a compelling strategy and entirely suited to the pastors go-getter personality. But implementing it would require Pastor Don to break from his own mold, adapting his style a bit. To win over his communitys most hard-to-reach, Don would need to put their tastes above his own. Not everyone on that list was going to be bowled over by his trademark no-nonsense style. That approach might even make his message unsavory to some. No, to appeal to them all, the pastor would need to adapt his personal style to theirs.
Variety, the spice of life Taking into account peoples personal styles when presenting them with the gospel can be the secret ingredient to a successful faith-sharing experience, according to Phil Tuttle and Jim Heiskell of Walk Thru the Bible Ministries.
The Apostle Paul practiced that centuries ago (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).
Phil and Jim teach church and corporate seminars on how to recognize, understand, relate and influence according to personality type. What theyve learned is that adapting our style to the style of someone were attempting to influence is usually most effective.
While they shy away from the word sell in terms of the gospel message, they do recommend seasoning ones style for greatest appeal, citing: We should please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord (Romans 15:2, NLT).
Before you can adapt yourself to the personality styles of others, you must understand your own personal style and how it impacts your witnessing opportunities.
Although God created each of us to be unique individuals, Phil and Jim have identified four major personality categories. Do you recognize yourself in any of these people?
The Doer Its impossible to ignore the doers of this world. Weve already introduced you to one, Pastor Don. Hes decisive, hard working and persistent. Challenge is his middle name.
When he presents the gospel, hes bold and direct. He gets straight to the point and issues an invitation without hesitation, anticipating decision-making to be just as easy for his listener as it is for him.
Don relishes the task of converting the hard-to-reach. The tougher the better is Dons motto.
But as a doer, Dons personal style sometimes hinders his effectiveness. Although persistent, hes also easily frustrated when he doesnt see immediate results.
Hes tempted to move onready to skip over integral parts of the soul-winning process if he feels its bogging down.
He may be insensitive to the other persons need for more details about Christianity, becoming too intent on achieving his goal.
High fives all around...Whose enthusiasm will be remembered more than Peter's in early church history? He possessed all the characteristics that make an influencer such an endearing leader. Outgoing and persuasive, he was effusive in his promises and belief that righteousness would prevail. But Peters weaknesses were glaring, too.
The same Peter who walked on water also sank in fear. The companion of Jesus who passionately proclaimed his loyalty flatly denied his Lord. It is that Peter, rash and impulsive, as much as the strong, enthusiastic leader that we look to in the midst of triumph and failure.
The Influencer Lets call this woman Isabella. Shes one of lifes cheerleaders, verbal, friendly, a veritable people magnet. When she tells someone about her life with Christ, she fairly bubbles. She sketches out the benefits in glowing terms.
The problem with Isabella is she may talk too much and listen too little. Shes so busy talking as she issues her invitation to accept Christ that she doesnt even really notice the other persons reservations.
Her enthusiasm is enough for them both, and it can translate into verbal manipulation. While waxing eloquent on the merits of Christianity, Isabella fails to outline its stark realities, the cross to bear and the personal cost.
She focuses so much on glossy benefits that, in effect, she exagger-atesperhaps impulsively promising something that Christ Himself never did.
Isabellas style is contagious, but it can set up converts for doubts and disappointment. After committing to Christ, theyll eventually discover that there is indeed a cross to bearand they may become confused and discouraged.
The Relator On the other hand, the relatorlets call him Rogerlistens intently. A loyal, reliable person, hes also naturally compassionate and caring.
If Roger has a failing when hes telling others about Christ, it might be that he listens too much. He gets so worried about offending that he holds back pointed comments.
Hes personally afraid of rejection and fearful of jeopardizing either the relationship or a future faith-sharing encounter. He especially doesnt want to come off as judgmental, so instead hes overly tolerant.
Before Roger introduces the subject of Christ with someone else, he does some soul searching of his own: Do I know this person well enough? Not sure, he listens longer.
Roger never closes a door on a relationshipand thats a blessing. Because if Roger ever gets around to leading someone to Christ he may have to be in it for the long haul. All that listening, relating, tolerating and beating about the bush takes time.
The Thinker Youve met Teresa. Shes the orderly one, a connect-the-dots kind of person. Shes organized and thorough, committed to quality.
Teresa doesnt believe in short-circuiting anything, especially not the gospel. You can have complete confidence that when she witnesses, her faith will be presented in a systematic, logical, accurate way.
Of course, that also means that Teresa finds it difficult to stray from her pre-determined plan of presenting the gospel, because Teresa is not a spontaneous kind of gal.
Shes prepared for objectionsso prepared that shell raise them herself just to deal with them as planned.
More than anyone, Teresa cannot tolerate imperfection. Fortunately, the gospel message is perfect; unfortunately, the people with whom she shares it are not. And neither is Teresa.
She often feels inadequate in sharing the gospel because she doesnt feel perfect enough herself. Her own perfectionism makes her critical of not just herself, but of otherssometimes coming across as judgmental and rigid.
Moreover, Teresa looks suspiciously at almost all methods of presenting the gospel, prone to think a bold witness just isnt required. After all, the gospel is so perfect, people should come to her with their questions about Christ right?
Seasoning to taste Keep in mind that most of us are actually mixtures of the four major personality types, although we may have one dominant personal style. If you recognize yourself in any of those people, youve probably already discovered some ways to improve your faith-sharing.
But to be more effectiveand truly impact otherswe also must be ready to adapt our style to our listeners. To do that, we need to be deliberate about observing our co-workers, neighbors, friends or relatives to learn their appetites so well know the best way to serve up the gospel.
Confronting the Doer Remember Pastor Don? Lets take him out of the ministry realm and dub him simply Person Don, an average unbelieving secularist. Don is still a doer, however; he likes to command, and hes adept at it. He may be a CEO or supervisor, someone who takes the lead in getting the jobwhatever it isdone.
When you share Christ with Don youll enhance the gospels appeal by keeping your message brief and to-the-point.
Show him the results. Don is always looking for the bottom line, so hes particularly impressed by visible changes in someone as a result of accepting Christ as Savior.
Be prepared for argument in a conversation with Don. Don does not fearhe even expects!conflict to be part of the decision-making process, so dont be daunted by some verbal repartee. If Don is engaged enough to fence verbally, thats a good sign.
Moreover, Don can take a hard message. Because hes not afraid of conflict, you can safely point out the shortcomings of life apart from Christ without doing lasting damage to his egoor your relationship. In fact, a doer who sees no real need for Christ will not hesitate to reject Him, so be forceful. But remember, time is valuable to Don, so aim for the bottom line: his critical need for Christ.
Influencing the Influencer We find the Isabellas of our world all around us, in sales positions that demand friendly aggressiveness while coaching winless Little League teams with unwaning enthusiasm. Isabella is the neighborhood welcome wagon and the one most likely to stop and chat with a complete stranger in the supermarket about the attributes of the best blends of coffee.
Therefore, someone like Isabella might respond to an evangelistic event oriented around a social gathering (think Super Bowl party, high tea, fish fry, etc.).
Shes almost always up for a party, so talking to Isabella about the ultimate party (heaven) should certainly whet her appetite. Let her know that you take genuine joy in being a Christian.
Because Isabella is so personable herself, shes impressed by others testimonies. And the more impressive the reputation of those sharing their faith, the more Isabella is influenced by what they have to say.
Being talkative and impulsive, Isabella might detour any conversation in almost any direction at any given time, so make sure you cover the important points of the message. Isabella really does need to know what shes getting into, even if shes ready to respond emotionally in the heat of the moment to an invitation to accept Christ.
Furthermore, its over time that Isabella demonstrates true commitment to Jesus, so plan on doing some intensive follow-up with her.
Relating to the Relator Door-to-door evangelism isnt usually the best way to approach a relator, unless you plan on building a friendship from an initial visit.
Theyre not interested in cookie-cutter evangelism; its got to be a blend of several ingredients: genuine interest in them, a deep level of trust and an honest sharing of your personal walk with Christ. So forget the rehearsed spiel and let your heart lead the conversation.
Any evangelistic appeal to a relator must be seasoned with love. Remember our friend Roger? Loyal, compassionate, caring Roger? Well, unbelieving Roger is still most impressed with your desire for a genuine relationship with him.
He needs assurance that you value his friendship more than his making the desired response. He needs to know that you love him, that youre not just trying to win him over.
More important, convince Roger that God loves him and through Christ he can have the ultimate relationship.
Youll need time to lead Roger to Christ. Youll need time to build a relationship. Then youll need time to talk. This is one conversationor more likely, a series of conversationsthat shouldnt be pushed or hurried.
Always avoid argument, a very threatening scenario to a relator like Roger. And strive to keep it simplebut dont be fooled by simplicity in return.
Rogers natural tendency is to acquiesce to your invitation just to keep the relationship intact. So make sure you encourage him to give a genuine response. Let him know that your friendship is secure no matter what his decision.
Tantalizing the Thinker The scientists and analysts of this world expect you to know your Christianity when you attempt to evangelize them.
They need evidence that you know what you believe and whyand if you can convey it to them in a logical, systematic presentation, all the better. Emotionalism isnt the key ingredient to converting a thinker like Teresa. She wants facts.
Therefore, you may even want to pave the way for an evangelistic appeal by engaging Teresa on the subject of Christianity in a way that will appeal to her.
A thinker usually welcomes the opportunity to research and read. Offer Teresa a copy of Josh McDowells Evidence that Demands a Verdict, for example, and ask for her opinion.
Be prepared to answer the question: What makes Christianity unique? And be willing to go in-depth to answer it. Simplicity is not for the thinker. She likes it complex.
Be aware that grace is an especially difficult issue for the thinkers of this world. The concept of grace sounds too simplistic to a lover of all things intricate.
The idea that salvation is not based on works can be a real mental stumbling block, so keep hammering away at the topic.
And while you may hope for an immediate response to your invitation, dont necessarily expect an on-the-spot decision. Teresa will probably need time to come to terms with acceptance of Christ. She so fears the thought of making a mistake or poor choice shell need ample time to think it over. But if she becomes gripped by the paralysis of analysis, help her out and press for a response.
In any discussion of Christ, every personality type brings strengths and weaknesses to the table. Once youve identified your own personal style, youll probably find that you can most easily appeal to someone of a similar personality type. But seasoning ones own approach to win someone with an opposite style may be the most satisfying faith-sharing experienceappeasing not only the appetite of one who hungers for God but also the on mission Christian who hungers to please Him.
To learn more about the ministry of Walk Thru the Bible, especially their personality-oriented seminars, Solving the People Puzzle and Understanding the Love of Your Life, call 770-458-9300 or visit www.walkthru.org.
Kima Jude is a freelance writer and photographer living in Montgomery, Alabama.