Are you ready for conflicts on your short-term mission team?

By Tara Barthel

Illustration by Cindy Revell

As a relatively new believer, I was thrilled to do my first short-term mission project the summer before my senior year of high school. I dutifully memorized Bible verses and looked forward to exotic adventures for Jesus. I did not, however, prepare in any way for the most difficult aspect of my summer mission-getting along with other members of my team.

I was an immature teenager with a strong personality who tried to "work hard for Jesus." One of my teammates was a relational person who enjoyed laughing and developing deep friendships. Before long, we were both exhausted and sick of living in such uncomfortably close quarters. When my "areas in need of further sanctification" rubbed against her "areas for growth and maturity," how did we respond? We fought. And everyone on the team knew it. So did the very people we were there to evangelize.

Sadly, my experience is all too common. As a general rule, short-term mission team leaders and members are ill equipped to respond to conflict in a biblically faithful manner. We're told what to pack and how to dress, but too often we're not taught how to deal with conflict with one another.

Ready or not, you'll probably face conflicts and broken relationships on your short-term mission team. As a leader-or even a team member-are you prepared to respond well and help others do the same?

Biblical peacemaking

The Bible provides us with a simple model for conflict resolution that every short-term mission team can understand and, by grace, apply. Peacemaker Ministries describes this systematic biblical approach to conflict resolution as The Four Gs:

• Glorify God. How can I please and honor God in this situation?
• Get the log out of your eye. How can I show Jesus' work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?
• Gently restore. How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
• Go and be reconciled. How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?

If only my teammate and I had been taught these principles and then guided in applying them when our conflicts began! Imagine the ministry that our short-term mission team might have experienced and modeled to others.

Instead of focusing on ourselves or even the other person, our leaders and team members would have urged us to ask ourselves, "Where is God in this situation?" They would have helped us think about the opportunities conflict resolution provides: to glorify God, serve each other and grow to be more like Christ.

For instance, we would have been helped to understand the difference between a good confession and a bad one. Imagine if I had offered an apology such as, "I'm sorry if I didn't say just the right words about how you did the puppet show, but if you were a more mature person, maybe you wouldn't have such thin skin." (Such an "apology" is really an attack!) What if, instead, we searched scripture and our own hearts to see the ways we had sinned against God and each other? My apology might have sounded more like, "I'm so sorry I made fun of the way you worked with the puppet show. I didn't please God or you with my mean words. I'm going to confess to the entire team, too, but first-would you please forgive me?"

At which point, with an understanding of what true forgiveness is, we would have the joy of forgiving one another-just as through Christ, God forgave us (Colossians 3:13). Our reconciled relationship would have given testimony to the truth of the gospel-not only to our teammates but also the people to whom we were ministering. If only I could have heard my teammate say, "I once was separated from God, but now He has made me His own. In the same way, Tara and I were separated in our relationship, but now we are reconciled and learning to love one another as sisters in Christ. Would you like to learn more about this Jesus who reconciles us to God and to one another?"

Peacemaking shows the gospel

After your short-term mission project is over, few people will remember the stellar Bible study you facilitated or the kid's camp project you led. But they will remember how the members of your team treated one another. When the trials and conflicts come, how will you respond? Will the watching world see broken relationships, hear harsh words and observe selfishness in action? Or will they see the gospel and say, "Wow! Look at those Christians-how they love one another!"

Tara Barthel (www.tarabarthel.com), formerly of Peacemaker Ministries, consults, mediates and teaches on biblical peacemaking.