By Chris Tiegreen

The young man's hand shook as he set the cup in front of her. The moment of decision had come. He'd been waiting his whole life for this day, and all his dreams and desires were wrapped up in it. It had taken all of his resources and all of his courage to arrange for this crucial moment.

He had help, of course. His father had counseled him, dutifully walked to the nearby town in order to get to know her parents, and talked with them about the merits of this match. The parents discussed the details of where the son would live, of how he would provide for their daughter, and, of course, of the price they would require. But only the bride herself could pick up this cup and drink it. Only she could agree to become his wife.

Seconds after he placed the cup on the table-though it seemed to him like hours-she reached out, smiled nervously, lifted it to her mouth and drank. Her gesture said "Yes!" louder than any shout from a mountaintop. Yes, his dream would be fulfilled. Yes, she would marry him.

The young man's anxiety melted away and unbridled joy took its place. This was a done deal, as binding as the marriage ceremony itself. All that was left for him to do was to go home with his parents and prepare a room in their house, a place where he and the delight of his heart could live together and enjoy the fruits of their marriage.

As the families celebrated and chattered excitedly about a future full of promise, she leaned toward him discreetly. "When can we have the wedding?" she whispered.

"I don't know," he whispered back to her. "It's up to my father. Whenever he tells me the house is ready for you to live in, I'll come for you."

Soon, he hoped. He would work hard to prepare a place as quickly as he could. Then he and his groomsmen, would come back to her town blowing happily on a shofar, a ram's horn, to alert her of his arrival. When she heard the blast of the trumpet, it would be time for the wedding.

In the meantime, she would wear a veil to let the whole world know that someone had chosen her, and she would spend her days beautifying her appearance and purifying her heart. She would also keep a lamp by her bed, just in case he returned during the night. Her bridesmaids would do the same because, after all, one never knows when an eager groom is going to come for his bride. No degree of darkness can keep him away.

God's Engagement

This was a typical engagement in ancient Israel, and much of it came from the symbolism of Sinai. The deliverance of Israel involved a covenant of blood as a bride price (Exodus 12:13) and included all the terms of a marriage: the generous provision of the Husband (Exodus 19:4; 20:2), the purification of the bride (Exodus 19:5-6), his expectations for the marriage (Exodus 20:3-17), the fire of his lamp descending on the mountain (Exodus 20:18), and the blast of his shofar (Exodus 19:13). Throughout the centuries since, rabbis have taught that the Ten Commandments were an engagement contract. God had chosen a bride. Even today, Jews drink a cup of wine at Passover to accept God's proposal.

The marriage customs of early Israel carried through into Jesus' day, and it's clear that he identified with them. He set a cup before his disciples and asked them to drink it. He spilled his own blood as a bride price-not grudgingly, but "for the joy set before him" (Hebrews 12:2). Before he left his disciples, he told them he was going away to prepare a place for them in his Father's house, but he would surely return and receive them to himself (John 14:1-3). He told his disciples he would come again with all his angels and the blast of a trumpet (Matthew 24:30-31). The kingdom of heaven would be like bridesmaids who went out to meet the bridegroom, but no one knew when that would be (Matthew 25:1-13). Even he didn't know the day or the hour; the time was completely in his Father's hands (Matthew 24:36). And the ultimate celebration would be like a wedding feast that a king gives for his son (Matthew 22:2).

New Testament writers picked up on the theme, as Paul told the Corinthians that he had betrothed them to Jesus and wanted them to be pure for the wedding (2 Corinthians 11:2). And if we had any doubt about where history is headed, Revelation makes it clear: "The wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear" (Revelation 19:7-8). All of heaven's hallelujahs will crescendo when the ceremony comes and the wedding feast has begun.

Scripture resounds with wedding theology, from the Garden of Eden to the City of God. In Genesis, one man became two people, and then two people became "one flesh," and this, Paul says, is the mystery of Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:32). From the first "be fruitful and multiply" to the marriage supper of the Lamb, the Bridegroom seeks a bride.

Before the Wedding

We live in that time of engagement. If we've drunk his proposal cup, our marriage contract is as binding as the wedding ceremony itself. But like one of Israel's brides of long ago, we wouldn't just go about our business as though nothing had happened. We would live our lives with one focus: the day the Bridegroom returns for us.

In fact, almost everything we did would point to that festive occasion. We would be as preoccupied as a young bride about making ourselves beautiful for the big day, we would wear a veil letting everyone know to whom we belonged, and we would keep a fully oiled lamp at our bedside in case our eager Groom came back in the middle of the night. All of our plans for the future would revolve around that certain but unknown day.

So while the Bridegroom is at his Father's house preparing many rooms, what should we be doing?

In the church's role as the bride, we are to have a singular focus. Most engaged women don't settle into life-as-usual the day after the proposal. It's the beginning of a long and busy time. The church has to be reserved, the caterers contracted, the musicians selected, the flowers arranged, the guest list created, the photographer hired, and on and on until everyone in the wedding party is completely exhausted.

And then there's the dress. It has to be perfect. It will be worn only once, but it will be worth every penny. Accompanied by an exquisite hairstyle and the artistry of cosmetics (all done by professionals, of course), the bride will be stunning. And it's never too soon for her to start getting ready.

That's how preoccupied we should be in preparing for that day. When we walk down the aisle toward the Bridegroom, with all creation in attendance, what will he see? In our case, it isn't the dress, the hair or the makeup. It's the beauty of the heart, the desire to please him, and the total devotion to his cause.

We'll look beautiful to him, of course, because his Spirit has done his work on us. To the degree we've submitted ourselves to him, he has clothed us in wedding attire and applied his own cosmetics. The professional who beautifies our hearts will be pleased with his work.

But what about our desire to please him and our devotion to his cause? A bride-to-be tries out the sound of her new name and practices her new signature. She dreams of their life together. She will live where he lives, his people will be her people, she will share his accounts, and they will be partners in raising children, pursuing goals and making a living. We, too, wear our Bridegroom's identity and practice our signature, signing all our prayers in His name.

But what do we know of his life's dreams? His goals? His plans? Where does he want to live and what kind of work does he do? Can we share that kind of life with him? What is our Bridegroom's agenda? And, deep down inside, are we really on board with it?

Those are pretty important questions to ask. It might be a good idea to settle them before the big day.

Our Common Passions

Here's what we know about our Bridegroom:

1. He is filled with anticipation. He puts all of his energy and effort into preparing our future home, picturing what his bride will look like when he sees us again and imagining what our life together will be like. The passion of a Bridegroom in love is indescribable. No power in hell could keep him from coming back for us.

2. He would be devastatingly grieved to find us impure when he ?returns. He would even be grieved to find us casual about the wedding-unprepared, as though it didn't mean that much to us to begin with. If the church doesn't prepare by displaying the beauty of his character, none of our works will matter. The Bridegroom will be enormously disappointed.

3. He wants a really big family. If we aren't interested in bearing children with him-planting new churches, for example, and making new disciples out of our marital union-we've missed his heart. Our Bridegroom wants to be "one flesh" with us, with abundant fertility coming from our marriage. God still wants us to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the new creation with born-again people. If we are intimate enough with him-if we abide in him and he in us-multiplication will be unavoidable. We will bear much fruit.

We sometimes get discouraged in the tasks of personal discipleship and evangelism because they seem like a divine to-do list. We think these are things that we, as servants, should be accomplishing for our Master simply because he said so. That's true, but it's not the whole truth. As a motive, it only gets us so far.

Scripture doesn't often present discipleship and evangelism that way. It places these issues in the context of a holy marriage and it gives us a wedding feast as our motive. If we practice biblical disciplines in order to serve a Master, we'll burn out pretty quickly. If, however, we prepare ourselves in purity and passion for a wedding day, our hearts will beat faster and we'll anticipate the consummation to come. Our preparation will turn from "to do" to desire.

Mission efforts like planting churches, making disciples and personal evangelism are the common agenda of the bride and the groom. They flow out of the emotional intimacy of the couple. These are the things that prepare a bride. His bride. The bride he delights in and is eager to come for. That alone should get us up in the morning.

We've already drunk the cup he has set before us. We're already committed to the wedding. While we wait to hear his shofar blow, we must set our hearts on his name, his character, and his biggest dreams: a beautiful bride and a very big family.

  Chris Tiegreen is editor of indeed magazine at Walk Thru the Bible and author of

Waiting for Her Big Day

Here are 10 characteristics of Christ's church as she prepares for His return.

1. Expectant. "Every bride I've ever known was so excited about the coming event," says Gary Hollingsworth, NAMB's senior director of Cultural Evangelism. "It consumes their every waking moment as they prepare for the 'big event.'  The church should have an 'expectant' attitude, and this should drive everything we do. How exciting to think about our Savior returning for His bride!" 

2. Urgent. Because we don't know when Christ will return for His bride, the church should be on high alert to make sure we invite as many as possible to the "wedding" leaving none out! The main task of the church is to invite (share the gospel), but every person must individually decide how they will "RSVP"-some will accept, some will decline. The urgent message of the church must be to get the invitations out as quickly as possible to allow for the maximum number of people to respond positively to the gospel call.

3. Sober. While every wedding is a celebration, there is a seriousness about the whole event. "I always remind the congregation in every wedding ceremony I've done that this is a worship experience, and we need to enter into it with a great deal of prayer and humility," says Gary. Being married is an awesome responsibility and needs to be treated with all the respect we can bring. The church has a responsibility to fulfill the Great Commission until He comes. So while church should be a happy, celebrative place, we need to stop from time to time and realize the tremendous burden we carry.

4. Biblical. You can't grow a biblically-faithful church without loving people and preaching the gospel. Churches that are inviting nonbelievers to enter God's kingdom are preaching the gospel in relevant ways without compromising the gospel or the Scriptures.

5. Passionate. A church focused on its true mission will have a Great Commission passion and an Acts 1:8 mindset to engage lost people in its community, region, country and world.

6. Compassionate. The church is called to meet the needs of others-healing, feeding and clothing in Jesus' name. We are to notice the needs of others and respond as Christ would. Not only did Christ meet people's physical needs, he brought spiritual transformation.

7. Multiplication mindset. "We are commanded by the Lord to go and make disciples of all nations-literally all people groups," says Richard Harris, vice president of Church Planting at the North American Mission Board. "Every person in every people group deserves the opportunity to hear the gospel and have an opportunity to respond in faith to Christ. Church planting provides one of the best opportunities for more and more people to hear the gospel in their heart language and have the opportunity to respond in faith to the crucified, buried, risen and coming again Lord Jesus Christ!"

8. Relational. "Our primary purpose is to be called out for relationship and fellowship with God (and with each other)," says Toby Frost, senior director of NAMB's Strategic Evangelism Coordination team. "This implies prayer, loving God and loving others."

9. Missions minded. Churches need to gear up for God's mission to reach people groups with a contextualized message (Romans 10:17). They can do this best by church-wide mission education that equips, enlists and engages all members. Participating in missions also becomes a learning experience for the on mission Christian and simultaneously provides a gospel witness for those who need to know and be discipled as a follower of Jesus Christ.

10. Missions active. Churches should engage their members in relevant, life-changing, hands-on ministry/missions opportunities that result in society's disengaged and outcast becoming kingdom citizens.