ILLUSTRATION by TRAVIS FOSTER

Larry met Jim as the two stood on parallel ladders, several feet above the ground. Along with a dozen other volunteers, they were spending a Saturday giving an elderly widows inner-city bungalow a much-needed facelift.

Is this your first time at the Paint-a-thon? asked Larry.

Oh, no. Im a regular.

Hey, thats great! Larry began to apply paint just beneath the eaves. Serving people this way seems like a great opportunity to show our gratitude to God.

Gratitude? Jim looked puzzled. I never really thought of it that way. I just figure it pays to make points with The Man Upstairs whenever you can. It might come in handy. Know what I mean?

I dont think a person can actually earn points with God, said Larry. Isnt it all about grace?

Jim stopped painting. Ever hear the expression theres no such thing as a free lunch?

Sure, but

Well, why should religion be any different? You dont really expect The Big Guy to give people a free pass, do you? What if you mess up somewhere along the line and tick him off? Im not sure hell is real, but why take a chance? Im playing it safe. I plan to cover all my bases, rack up some creditsjust in case.

Maybe it was his formative religious experiences or lifes hard knocks, but somehow Jim had come to believe the old adage: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. So he worked feverishly trying to impressor appeaseGod. Perhaps, like the university student Paul Little recalls in How to Give Away Your Faith, he figured, If God grades on the curve, Ill make it.

How can an on mission Christian get through to someone like Jim with the good news that Gods amazing grace is what rescues us, not our own efforts? One key may be in understanding how someone gets trapped in a works-based mentality in the first place.

For some, it boils down to a misconception of what God is like. In many cases, the problem stems from erroneous religious teaching. Some groups paint a picture of God as grandfatherly, passive and permissive. Their thinking goes like this: All He expects is that we do our best. Only the obviously evil, such as terrorists or child molesters, are sure to warrant His wrath. And, if good enough is good enough, who needs grace?

Of course, this view ignores the clear scriptural teaching that God is holy and His standards are infinitely higher than ours.              

Other groups portray God as distant, unknowable, demanding and spoiling for any excuse to strike us with lightning. Gods judgment is emphasized, while His love and compassion are downplayed. Consequently, people learn that they must perform, or else. Fear becomes the motivation for leading a moral life. But, while having a certain fear of the Lord is a healthy trait, if not balanced by Gods grace, this kind of religion keeps its adherents chained like galley slaves, striving for acceptance, or living in terror of rejection.       

Misunderstanding Gods nature also may come from lifes experiences. Growing up with parents (or other authority figures) who were unpredictable, arbitrary or who had explosive tempers may lead to behavior patterns geared to avoid annoying or upsetting them. Eventually, if we still believe in God, we may transfer these feelings to our beliefs about Him, leaving us with the nagging fear that He, too, is unpredictable. And so we rely on ourselves, doing all we can to ensure our own salvation.

Just as it is possible to misjudge Gods nature, we also are inclined to overestimate our own.

After sharing his faith with Marcy, Tony asked if she would like to receive Christ.

Oh, yes, she replied, but I dont know the words to say or how to pray.

If its more comfortable for you, Ill pray and you can repeat after me.      

Marcy agreed and bowed her head.

Heavenly Father, Tony began, thank you for the gift of eternal life.

Marcy repeated the words enthusiastically.

I confess that I am a sinner.

Silence.

I confess that I am a sinner, Tony repeated.

What are you trying to say? Marcy blurted. Im not a sinner! Ive never done anything all that bad.

Frank Sinatras signature tune, I Did It My Way, comes to mind. Did Marcy suffer from utter self-deception, or was she guilty of incredible arrogance?

1 John 1:8 reminds us that If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves.... Even our good deeds are often tainted.

In Shame and Grace, Lewis Smedes writes, We all do look out for ourselves, and all our pious expressions about living the unselfish life cannot undo this fact about our deepest motivations.... If we give all that we own to feed the poor, we would do it because we knew we would feel better for having done it. Different strokes for different folks. Some people like to feel unselfish and other people like to feel rich. And they are both equally egoistic.

The failure to accept Gods standard of sin is a roadblock to receiving His grace.  

Whatever the reason, many of our friends and neighbors are living a desperate, graceless existence. Here are some ideas for helping the Jims and Marcys in your life make the grace connection.

1. Try to understand. When it comes to grace, people dont get it for a variety of reasons. Could shallow theology, a misunderstanding of Gods nature, past experiences with authority figures or arrogance and pride be blocking your friend? Get to know the person, listen to his or her story and ask probing questions. Be attentive to the clues that will tell you whether your friend has a warped view of God or a nave view of self.

2. Point to Gods Word. Philosophical or psychological arguments will only take you so far. The Bible is the textbook on grace, and unless your friend accepts its authority at some point, he or she will never understand graceor receive it. For the scriptural explanation of grace vs. works, its hard to beat Ephesians 2:8-9. For people who find a story easier to understand, share with them the parable of the Prodigal Son. Ive also used the account of the thief on the cross with those who are convinced they must earn entrance into heaven. A convicted criminal, this man was in no position to do any good deeds, yet he was granted acceptance into Paradise by Jesus Himself. Now thats grace!

3. Model the message. Your friend may believe grace is too good to be true, because he has never seen it demonstrated in real life. Perhaps no one has ever shown him or her unconditional love. Maybe everyone he or she knows seems to have a hidden agenda, or expects something in return for every act of kindness. Be the person who smashes those stereotypes. Show grace and then explain itand from Whom you received it.

4. Be alert to key moments. Lewis Smedes writes, We are ready for grace when we are bone tired of our struggle to be worthy and acceptable. When that moment arrives for your friend, be there with the message of Gods amazing-but-true grace.

David Horton is an editor, freelance writer and the author of three books. He lives in Savage, Minnesota.